Welp, we did the park thing today. I forgot how to run, I think I am majorly out of shape here folks. Agh..It felt really great though in the end, so I want to keep going to the parks. It wore the kids out and thats a plus! dog too.

Anyhow, just enjoying my day off. I might even call it a lovely day.. So, Im going leave you with a few things to ponder. I've heard a few of these before...

One Liners to Ponder

1. Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
2. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
3. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
4. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
5. I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
6. A procrastinator's work is never done.
7. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
8. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
9. Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
10. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
11. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
12. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
13. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used
against you.
15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
17. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost
of living.
18. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's
a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
19. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try and pass them.
20. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
21. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there
first.
22. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
23. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
24. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
25. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
26. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
27. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak.
28. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
29. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
30. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
31. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
32. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
33. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
34. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was worth it.
35. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
36. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
37. Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald's
makes you a hamburger."
38. A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.
39. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
40. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all
yourself.
41. No more about Elvis, OK? Thankyouverymuch
42. I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures
43. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
44. A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.
45. Sometimes it's more important to do it than to do it right.
46. Time isn.t money . . . it.s more valuable than that.
47. I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
48. Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking
candy from a baby.
49. Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.
50. By the time we realize our parents were right, we have children who think we're wrong.

Alright. First of all, my fuckin dog stinks. K, gave er' a bath today, but, this dog still stinks! I got her groomed a few weeks ago, and she smelled great. So, I think she's just gonna have to be groomed by a paid professional. Unless, I try the kids shampoo. That would smell sooo much better than her dog one. Is that dangerous? I'll check too see if it's been tested on animals or not.? uhm..

Anywho. I'm getting ready to schedule my exam to get my fuckin CDL. Welp; more like, I might wanna start studying atleast.. remember? I have to get for work, so I can drive our residents out on outings. not so much looking foward to that, ya'll. One chick in another one of our facilities (better spell check on that one), failed her test and had to take it again. So, please pray or wish me luck on that one pumpkins.

And on another note. I'm back on a diet, and tryin to exercise more. Although, Im not sure how long it will last. I'm such a fuckin yo-yo dieter. My biggest habbit latley is that I won't eat all day long, and then wake up in the middle of the night, starving! And get up and eat. No shit. Can u even believe it? U would think I would learn that it's not exactly gonna work, if Im gonna eat in the middle of the night, and then go to sleep. henceforth, burning off no calories at all. (u do burn a very small amount though just sleeping. ) But anyhow. Diets and I are old friends. I'll tell ya what fuckin sucks though. When they banded Ephedra. Man, I loved that stuff. It really kept me going, and not feel hungry at all. Ephedra was the shit that worked! But, no. Some stupid little shits decided to take like 10 a day and think that wasn't even slightly considered a bit much. C'mon! fuckers..
I did read that its allowed now. Only at 10 mgs per pill. I guess u could double dose, but still. I'm reluctant to buy it cause it's not cheap. Would be worth it though.

Mkay, I'm outta here. fyi. I Still Can't get them pictures on! piece of shit.
peaceout

So. I'm glad that I had my little shin-dig. It turned out quite well. Not everyone came that I invited, however, it still was a good time. I hadn't really intended to buy anything, since I already had spent money at the one I went too. But. I decided to get some 'Heads Up,' for Kyle, and then he bought a couple things. One of my friends from work came, and ended up drinking more than she could handle and kept asking the party lady when she would be done, cause she was more than ready to go to the bars to drink more...that was a trainwreck, aswell as amusing. Anyhow, this is all I got for ya'll at the moment. But, I will leave you with some pics, and some from St. Patty. Belated. But here ya go nonetheless. O & minus the cock cookies cause I ran outa time and couldn't make them. Not that I need them anyhow...It's time to get serious about losing this fucking nasty fat off my body. Which y'all will be able to tell from the pic's...eww Enjoy. peaceout.

*Having tech probs w/uploading...*scream*

Penis Anyone?

Alrighty, I don't think I told everyone that I was having my own little "Toy Party". It's tomorrow, and even though I wasn't really looking forward to it, I kinda am now. I'm leaving work early tomorrow and going to buy some food, and some drinks. Im thinking, Pineapple Rum, beer, and ah..yes, some yeg I think. I figured I'd just get everyone drunk. I'm only doing it for some fun, so, I've let them all know they don't have to buy a damn thing, just so they'll come. Sound slightly desperate? yep, I know.

Anyhow, I'll take some pic's of that little gathering and then post them later along with some belated St. Pattys pics aswell. O, I almost forgot, I was wanting to make some decorative PENIS COOKIES. Now, do I have to mold them myself into such a shape, or do they sale cookingware for that? Either way. I can deal. Not like I've never handled a penis before.

peaceout.

They say our love is taboo,
that what we're doing is wrong.
But I don't care what they say,
'cause my love is so strong.
They tell us we should be ashamed,
we're not husband and wife.
But I cherish each moment with you,
I'm so glad you're in my life.

You're my prison bitch, my prison bitch.
you're not like other men
I'm glad we share a prison cell,
when lights go out at ten
I can't escape the way I feel, now that would be a crime.
As long as I am doing you,
I don't mind doing time.

Cause your my prison bitch, my prison bitch.
And I have no regrets.
I got you for a candy bar, and a pack of cigarettes.
At first you were resistant, but now you are my friend,
I knew that I would get you in the end
Prison bitch, prison bitch.
I guess that you were sent from up above.
Prison bitch, prison bitch.
And now you are my prisoner of love.

(prison bitch singing:)
I'm your prison bitch, your prison bitch.
And you're a sex machine.
I only have but one request, how 'bout some vaseline.
I'm tired of this prison cell, I need to get away.
They sentenced me to seven years,
not seven times a day.

I'm your prison bitch, your prison bitch.
You nymphomaniac, I really hate these knockers,
that you've tattooed on my back.
I thought that I could break away, but now I'm losing hope.
And God I'm tired of picking up the soap

Prison bitch, prison bitch.
Turn out the lights 'cause I can hardly wait.
Prison bitch, prison bitch.
When I get out, I'm ready to go straight.

You're my prison bitch, my prison bitch.
I'll never say good-bye.
You're not like all the others,
too bad they had to die.
On second thought, I think I'll stay if you want me to,
your prison bitch is never leaving you.

At first you were my cell mate,
but now you're my soul mate.
So come here baby, come here!

Oh no! Not again!
Now I know why they call you a hardened criminal.
Hang on! You about to find out why they call this the "pokey".


Just a few words of thought from Rodney Carrington.. I love that guy.

So, fun day for me. We got to take the kids and Gunnar (my nephew) to Chuck E Cheese today..or at least that was the plan. Yeah, my idea. Shit, it did sound good at first. Let the kids have some non-expensive fun. *ey*. It was friggan packed as hell!! I didn't know people actually still went there, thoug? really..

M'so, we went to pizza hut and then to Magic Mountain. BTW, what n the hell is wrong with the parenting skills of these other kids I see. There were the rudest kids there. Im like dang! And non of the parents were even watching thier own spawns of something fierce. I dunno, they fun anyhow, so thats all that counts anywho..

Alright, and o, I also have pic's from last night, but, It really ate ass! But, I'll post them alittle later, just for shits & giggles.

Happy fuckin weekend to y'all.

peaceout

Mkay, Well, I had a few complaints about My construction page, so poof! it's gone. This is not the template Im staying with, but, it will hold for now.

Happy St. Patty's Day to you all! I will be out tonight, getting all drunk prolly, and feeling like junk in the morning...Its a sad, sad, way to live.

Mkay, back to work for me..

Peaceout

Hey, ya'll. Im still workin here. But, Im gonna be posting something that, I really want some comments on. Just stay tuned...(My newscaster writing)

peaceout..

You Are Chinese Food Exotic yet ordinary.People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour. What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindoffoodareyouquiz/">What Kind of Food Are You? I Borrowed this from Chelle. I think this fits me...Does urs?

Great damn news. I finally figured out how to put new templates on here. After months of fucking around, I got it. Although, I do have a few quirks to work out,(like how to get the rite fit). But, Im breaking ground, and well, damn it, I proud of little ole me. So, while Im doing that, here's a few words of wisdom for ya....

A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friend's wife has died.
When he knocks on the door, he gets no answer, so he decides to go in and see if everything is all right. Upon entering the house, the man discovers his friend in the living room having sex with the maid.
"Jack", says the man, "Your wife just died yesterday!!" His friend looks up and says, "In this grief, do you think I know what I'm doing?"


How do you know your girlfriend is really hot? When you put your hand in her panties and it feels like you're feeding a horse.

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would I have? Two feet of my cock in your ass.

I could swear that I only had 4 Draft beers and 2 shots of yeg, but my hangover that lasted all day yesterday said otherwise. I don't think I have had a headache for that long ever, and now I feel like I may be getting the flu or some shit. Thats wonderful. Looking forward to being sick once again. geez.

I was supposed to help my sister pack and take some stuff to storage, but, I just don't think I have it in me today. My body is hurting like all hell.

Kyle went out last night, and didn't come through the door untill 5am this morning. The last time he did that it was like 7am, and he told me he got robbed by 3 guys while at a stop light and they drove around in his car for 6hrs while they smoked crack. True story..I guess.
I was alittle pissed. But, this time his story was more beliveable.

We have decided to get married. Ofcourse, he asked me last night(oops, this morning) if I still wanted to marry him. I do, even though. I love the guy, but he really does have respect issues. If I came through the door at the hour, he would not be happy. I will deal though. I asked him if he was out gettin some..no ofcourse, and for the most part I do believe him. Only because I know him, and it was done to him repeatedly, and I know it hurt him, so Im hopeful that he wouldn't do that to me.

Anywho, Im going to go rest for a bit. I have some errands to do today against my will..

Peaceout.

Yes, I know. Where the hell have I been…

Honestly, I’m sorry, but I just get to lazy. And my computer has been so slow, as if dial up isn’t supposed to be, but it just drives me crazy. Then that dang blogger wouldn’t upload my pic’s.

Nonetheless, I am at least making an effort. However, I’m at work right now, and it is just so slow, that this seemed like a good time as any to attempt to post some type of crap to hopefully amuse you.

So, my toys came in today. The ones I ordered at the toy party…I am very anxious to try them bad boys out! Kyle and I had a fun time last night, we played one of those sexual/relationship games. I laughed my ass off at first though. It was just funny! First thing we had to do was, “kiss and touch each other lovingly.” After I finally stopped laughing uncontrollably, we found that it really was a good game to get into. So, needless to say, we will be playin that again.

Hayven came back Saturday. I was sooooo excited to see her. The whole way home, all I did was keep grinning at er’. My hopes that she would return a better behaved child, did not at all happen, I think she may be infact a bit worse, actually. She definitely has spent most of her time next to me since she’s been back. When I came back to work Monday, she kept asking if I was coming back…poor thing.

Welp, that’s all I got for ya’ll tonight. So, hope this will do till next time…

Peace Out.